Being an autism mum means…

having a bit more faith in a world that has often let you and your little ones down. Knowing that often the things that hurt or disappoint you, are not personal or intentionally malicious.

That peoples understanding of autism is at many different levels. I think, in the same way that there is a spectrum of autism, there is also a spectrum of understanding. A friend who loves you doesn’t necessarily always say the right things, or do what you need of them there in that exact moment. But man, when they do! When they get it right, when you feel just a complete level of understanding and compassion, in a single moment, it changes everything. 

We spent Sunday afternoon this weekend at a park playground near a lake in Osborne Park, WA. It was beautiful, there was a fence around the entire playground, but the playground faced a picturesque lake with pelicans and ducks and gorgeous greenery all around. 

There were still challenges of course, but my friends made accommodations, and some of the girls specifically helped me with the boys, we took turns running after them. 

Some of these girls have had their moments of letting me down in the past, ignorance, autism blindness - I think I might call it this. But I realised after reflecting on last night, that actually each and every one of them has a good heart. They truly showed up for us and have maybe even evolved in their understanding of how to help? Because sometimes I can’t even vocalise how to do that. And if I can’t explain it, how can I expect someone to understand? 

Last night, there was no need for explanation. We just had fun, made sure everyone was safe, had some laughs and good times. Even took a walk around the lake as the sun was setting. Something I didn’t think me and the boys could do. But we did it. 

So going back to my original point, I don’t think that necessarily based on one night, that things for us have changed dramatically. But rather I think it’s woken me up to the fact that there is a spectrum of understanding of autism and that everyone is at some different stage of learning. Despite all the research and understanding that we now have, there are people, friends and family and strangers who have varying levels of experience with autistic children. 

Is it fair of us to just expect people to do better? Is it fair of me to expect understanding from my friends and family? Not entirely. I know the people I’ve kept in our lives for a reason. And those people may not get it right all the time, but neither do i. Last night, they absolutely nailed it. #grateful